I Am Potty Mouth

Zero Fucks Given


This IS My Poker Face

Bitch, Please.

I haven't done a damn thing for which I would need your forgiveness!

You, on the other hand?

 You are working my last nerve. 

You forgive me... Bitch, please. 

Don't Worry, Be Happy

Fuck Your Issues

That's right Brother, I said FUCK Your ISSUES!

And while we're at it...Fuck YOU too, because you are acting like a total fucking douchebag.

In a call to you today, pleading for you to attend our nephew's funeral, you said that you "didn't think you could make it, because you have Issues". You said that, "for the last 10 years or so, you have had to take this time to work on your own ISSUES". You said that, "participating in any way with the family just takes too much ENERGY and prevents you from dealing with your OWN ISSUES"

Some of your ISSUES are fifty years old! And guess what? The 2 hours you would have to sacrifice from this "deeply important work that you are doing on your ISSUES" would not make much, if any, difference! In all likelihood, you will still be a fucking JERK

The same fucking jerk who missed our nieces' WEDDING, for fucks' sake! While she was growing up, that little girl idolized you, you sack of crap, and you didn't even once think about how terribly hurt she felt? How she cried so hard that her make-up had to be completely redone? & never mind if being a no-show on her big day might have left her with some fucking ISSUES!! 

Only your ISSUES mean anything, right Brother? Because you are more important than anyone else in the world, aren't you?

You are more important than your mother (do you even go visit her in the old age home? NO! You do not.)

You are more important than your father, whom you have not driven the one hour to see, not even when he had his big heart attack, and not once since he was put into the care home.

You are more important than your wife, our Sister, the mother of your 4 children, who has worked as many as FOUR jobs at a time(!) so that you could pursue your entrepreneurial dreams. Oh right, but now she only works 3 jobs so that you can "deal with your ISSUES".

"No." You said, "No, you don't need help from a professional because you don't need to pay money to someone because you are working on your ISSUES on your own".

Guess what Idiot? You are clearly not qualified to do more than wallow in your own self-pity, because after 10 years of "working on your ISSUES", you are not in the least little bit improved!

Hear this Brother:

Everybody & his donkey has Issues, but when you use your fifty year old, completely unrelated, bullshit(!) as an excuse to hide from life in general, that just makes you a fucking coward. 

It may not sound like it right now, but you fucking well know that you have been a beloved part of this family for more than 35 years. Dude, you are our Brother! At least, we have always treated you & accepted You as our Brother since the day our Sister first brought you around. You used to be as happy to have us as we were to have you... Who do you think you are to just fucking abandon us all? You are too enmeshed in this family to pull an ostrich when things get rough. 

Our Brother's kid just spent more than 6 months in a COMA... where in the FUCK were YOU????? 

Not one single hospital visit. 

Not one single phone call.

Not a card.

Not even a lousy fucking text message.

in over SIX & a half long months...

in, more than 28 never-ending weeks...

in 199 agonizing days...

in 4,776 pain-filled hours...

in 286,560 minutes... couldn't spare even one fucking emoji for your comatose nephew, for his devastated mother, for his broken father, for his traumatized twin, for his weeping siblings, for ANYone outside of your own head. 

The boy died less than 4 days ago! Yet, you..... You have not spared even a thought for any of them. For any of the family.

Where the fuck ARE you, Brother?!? 

If this tragedy had happened to one of YOUR four children... Do you think even for one second  that any one of our family would have ghosted on your child? On your wife, our sister? On your family, our nephews & nieces?

Do you actually believe that we'd have left you all alone in Your hour of need?


No, we would have BEEN THERE FOR YOU

And you fucking well KNOW IT Brother!

You are a cowardly piece of excrement Man. 

If you miss this innocent boys' funeral, I swear that I will scrape your ISSUES off the bottom of my boot and never look back for you.

I will encourage my Sister to leave you, and to grab back onto life; somewhere out there is a real man who would make her happiness his priority.

I will make sure that your children attend parties, and family gatherings. I will make sure that they laugh, & that they receive & FEEL all the glorious Love from their extended family that you have been denying to them while you "deal with your ISSUES".

I will do everything that YOU should have been doing all along. 

Stuff your fucking ISSUES Brother, stuff them up your chubby arse. 

This is your last chance to do the decent thing - Man the fuck up and let us see you show some fucking respect, turn up at the boys' funeral, Kiss his Mother & give your regrets to his Father -- your Brother.

Kill your ISSUES man, not yourself. 

Seriously, Fuck You. You Know Who You Are.


Next Level Ass-Hattery...

 click Here for some actual sensible words, because...

Jesus. Christ. 

I seriously cannot. Even. Start. about this fucked up shit or I may never stop railing. 

When I say that I pray for strength, what I actually mean is...

Can I get an Amen?

Fuck Adulthood. Fuck It Hard.

  It seems somewhat late for me, but there are sure as hell days when I would like to ditch the whole damned 'responsibility' concept. Even times when I might prefer to forget about 'adult' altogether... But, unlikely. *sigh*

  Do you recall the first time that you felt that you were 'getting so old'? You were probably somewhere in your mid-twenties. You dumb shit. 

  What about the first time you actually voiced concern about your obviously accelerated aging out loud? You probably bitched about it to someone at least twice your age. You fucking asshole.

  But don't beat yourself up too quickly ~ because every human being on planet earth has done both of those things. So you can take comfort in the fact that, intermittently, we are all dumb shits. 

  As human beings, we have the infinite potential for change & growth. We develop significant insight & perspective by experiencing Pain over the passage of time. It's the Universes' Gift to You... with wrinkles as the wrapping. 

  Fuck you, Universe, you're a douchebag.

Bitch, please!



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